The #1 question women ask themselves and how to answer it.
Here’s the #1 question that runs in the mind of many women:
“What’s wrong with me?”
This question arises mainly for women because the world doesn’t accommodate our natural cycles and needs that female in nature – it invalidates them.
As a result, we try to live according to the messages we receive from the world.
“Be better, do better and don’t be whiny.”
The world is infused with the desperate need for ever more power (over) and never ending productivity.
It responds to our needs for rest, restoration and play with the same answer each time: “Your needs aren’t valid”
And then we abandon them ourselves.
This linear world allows only very little room and our whole self never gets to come forth in its entirety.
Being continously productive is the norm for all living things (even cows who have to give milk until their udder bleads).
The thing that keeps this soul-less system going? Silence.
The silence about the consequences of this one-sided experience.
Silence that causes shame because we never hear anybody else having problems with the way we’re living.
Continuing to be exhausted, sad and productive as if that deserves a medal of honor shame has room to grow.
Ashamed of not being liked, of being too slow (in everything), of not meeting a target, of being unhappy when we shoudn’t be, of working part-time, of lacking motivation, of eating too much, of forgetting things, of wanting a romantic partner, of wanting children, of not wanting children, of needing to rest, of taking a nap, of drawing for drawings sake, of dancing instead of working etc.
In the end it has us think (silently): “Something must be seriously wrong with me if I need (X) or can’t do (Y).”
In essence we ask: “What is wrong with me?”
We project this question to everyday events (like eating, sleeping, talking, flirting, working, studying etc.) and into our (“failed”) relationships.
In my opinion the responsibility is misplaced.
How about asking the world: “What is wrong with you?
“What is wrong with the world we live in?”
This is a legitimate question.
It’s time to outsource the shame. There are consequences to allowing only half of an existence.
Stop taking all the responsibility for mistakes and flaws that aren’t yours.
Let’s stop asking ourselves if we’re defective or broken.
We’re not broken, we just live in a system that has us belief that we are.
And it has us believe that so we don’t see for ourselves that IT IS BROKEN!
WE WILL NEVER FIT INTO THE WORLD AS IT IS. Nature hasn’t intended for us to cut ourselves off of natural cycles and desire for rest and inclusion.
We must allow ourselves to feel the pain of living in a world that has forgotten how to be human, how to care about living beings and the earth at large.
The pain is real EVEN if no one acknowledges it.
It’s a world living in denial.
We can evolve into a more wholesome expereince of life in which our needs are honored and rest, play and art are celebrated.
I’m not the first one to say this, so please see this only as a reminder of what you already know.
The way to “be the change” starts simple.
Whenever you notice yourself asking: “What’s wrong with me?”
Let alarm bells wake you!
Stop in all that you’re doing and reflect:
- What role am I trying to play here?
- What am I afraid of?
- What standard am I trying to fill?
- What limiting beliefs have me doubt myself here?
- What do I belief about myself in this situation?
It’s really time to unveil the system and start living in tune with your WHOLE rythm including needs, play, intuition and magic.
Own ONLY your part of the problem – not the part of an entire world.
It’s time to reflect, really, what is actually working and what has to be released.
Why?
So we can be free of the unnatural burdens of striving for power over all things female in nature, the earth and everything that sparks magic in our bones.
Free to be our whole selves. KNOWING that nothing is wrong with us, we are perfectly whole.
What are the moments when you ask yourself: “What’s wrong with me?”
All the best,
Jenny